These Addictions

These addictions come and go like sun and rain
Like East Coast tides they rise and fall then rise again
And on the West Coast I here they’re burying a friend
Swallowed by unassuming earth in coffins carried by grieving men

These addictions can steal the air right from your lungs
Trying to get through a day without booze and pills and drugs
Hearts stop quickly the liver fails and the kidneys are shot
Born unsullied bodies die amass of organs turned rust and rot

These addictions are tenacious and cure one day at a time
It’s been said each day gets easier, it becomes easier to lie
These addictions aren’t what keep me down
They keep me up for hours before I pass out on the ground

These addictions aren’t biased or judgmental
Were all addicts in some way it’s really just that simple
Relationships and sex and drugs all breed codependence
The things you do you’ll always regret, you never get your penance

These addictions control arms that they stick those needles in
Destroy heart and soul leaving gutless hollow man
Lives spent checking in and out and checking back in again
They say rehab is for quitters, but maybe only quitters win

City Sun Rises

The sun will rise in this dirty old town
Aimless men aim heads at the ground
City streets littered from last night’s revelry
Broken people cut shoeless feet on broken festivity

Men crawl red-eyed from under city bridges
Trolls at night spend their days in the ditches
Phone calls from acquaintances locked up in jail
Sloppy drunk tank orations given pleading for bail

Hangovers, headaches, and morning sickness
Muddled minds start searching for fixes
Coffee is made, poured and made again
Drunk driver found lifeless in the road was my friend

Men with important jobs and important lives
Hurry to stress filled jobs and work til they die
Jobless men huddle and sulk at the quick stop
Drinking malt in brown bags playing the scratch offs

The sun creeps up from the horizon heating the street
Sweaty masses huddle in sadness for shade on cracked concrete
A tired old woman pushes a stolen grocery store cart
Its treasured belongings and all she holds close to her heart

Relieved from the post observing waking city through grimy windows
Stand frozen at bathroom mirrors where hands start to tremble
Incessant urges to self medicate play like loops through your mind
Do you mind your mind or trust that voice sermonizing you’re dying

XOXO

She told me that I’m so cold I must be a vampire
She says my heart is frozen solid and I can’t feel anymore

I knew it must be true because I feel dead inside
A troubled alcoholic bent on unintentional suicide

She has already said she’d stay away from me
She broke her promise once and went away with me

We smiled and laughed and I felt like home again
When we returned somehow I fell further off the other end

Now I see her on occasion from my window sill
When she comes close to me she tells me I look ill

I lost my point of reference on my future
The day I lost her heart or maybe a little sooner

I avoid looking at photos of her my walls
I haven’t taken them down since I put them up last fall

One day I’ll box your pictures and send them out to sea
Until that day I’ll just remain a creep

Its easy to avoid myself just like you avoided me
Then one day maybe I can get some fucking sleep

Night Walk Home

All these nights go passing by
Like dreams I never thought were true
I walk a block to my favorite neon sign
Im there at last call every night at two

Stand alone empty beer in empty hand
I look down at these old dirty shoes
That fit these streets like gloves on dirty hands
And I can’t far walk without these blues

I breathe in slow the stagnant air of smoky bars
The bitter taste of twenty-eight years of failure
I breathe out smoke passing over a black lung scars
My heart pumps byproducts of bitter brown liquor

Now I stumble over the simplest of words
Self loathing speeches made to a bathroom mirror
I force myself to listen knowing nothings heard
I mumble and slur never saying a word thats clear

I walk and drink in the quiet of cracked concrete
Avoiding the street lamps light
A ghost in the darkness of these streets
Head held low Im a passing thought at night

Neon signs dim as the all bars close
I stop and for a moment my eyes grow bright
When your silhouette dances in a dirty window
I'll keep on walking I know tonight is not the night